"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas..."

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do..."

What am I talking about? Many of you may be familiar with this old Christmas song. Honestly I was quite old before I first heard it.

This song has a deeper meaning for me as an adult, it's a dream for Christmas. A large, seemingly, unattainable Christmas gift. A gift that can neither fit under the tree nor be wrapped. It cannot be bought at a store. It's an intangible.

This year I have many intangibles for Christmas, not for myself but for so many others in my life. They need a Christmas miracle. They need Santa to deliver a hippopotamus through the front door. Health, financial security, a home...beyond the esoteric wishes for world peace, there are so many in my life who need inner peace. A peace that comes from being secure in where you are, of not having to question at every turn what tomorrow may bring. From where will we get the next meal? Will we have a place to call home? How will I provide for those I love...for myself?

Yes, I too need a hippopotamus but I want so much for the others in my life to get their hippopotamuses. If they received this gift I would benefit in my not feeling the need to worry so about each of them.

Christmas is going to be meager around these parts but there's always someone worse off than yourself. The problem is I know so many worse off to whom I am closely tied.

I wish for each of you your own hippopotamus, whatever that may be.

Merry Christmas and may we all have a prosperous, and healthy, new year.

I love this video of the song, Enjoy!

the voices in my head

No-one else can hear 

the voices in my head.

No-one else hears 

the things that they have said.

No-one else hears them wish that I were dead.

Until it all comes exploding, raging from my head

Rolling, boiling, tempest storm...

Crashing, destroying, consuming flood of hatred and scorn.

How do I silence them?

Is this truly my desire?

Or do I just wish no-one else heard them...EVER

How do I protect others from that which is within me?

Every day the fire builds and threatens to consume me...

I want it to consume me
But without others in the way.

I'd rather that they have no clue

The darkness deep within

Ever rising to the surface 

Threatening kith and kin

With the knowledge of my sins

It's true no day passes
I desire to stay alive

But I'd rather shelter others
From the knowledge of this desire

I fear realisation of this longing's the only way
These voices will ever cease

And I'll have a "normal" day

Embrace the dark stranger

Who comes to steal your breathe

For death's the only answer

To these voices in my head