Just a sexual identity or something more?

Sexual orientation? Sexual identity? Nature or nurture?

It has long been argued that if you want proof that being gay is genetic you need only look to my Mother's side of the family. Through multiple generations there is evidence that would lead one to conclude that there is some genetic code at play.

But is being gay merely about sex? And if it goes beyond a sexual identity then how can refraining from sexual activity with the same sex make you any less gay?

I have for years implied that there is more to being gay than sex because if not I'm not gay. I have been celibate nearly my entire adult life. Initially out of sheer terror. I came of age at the height of the AIDS scare and the idea of engaging in the behaviors they were claiming to be the greatest dangers for contracting the illness truly terrified me.

Later my abstinence was more about low self-esteem and poor body image but whatever the reason I've been gay in name only if sex is the qualifier.

I submit that I am still very much a gay man. I don't think a straight man could ever appreciate the male form as I do. There are also so many other things that, in my mind, make me gay.

One of my favorite YouTube channels is hosting the topic this week of "What Would You be Like if You Were Straight?" several in answering have alluded to the idea that there are characteristics in themselves as gays that they feel pretty strongly would not exist had they been straight. A love for dance in high school rather than contact sports. A fondness for fashion or certain hair colours. Drama, the friends they have or had in school, so many factors. One even noted that he was the only male in his family, for generations, to graduate high school and not have a child before 18.

I am gay! I know this. I know nothing can change the fact, no matter how hard I may try or how much someone else may wish it to be different. I know I didn't choose this anomaly of life.

I think perhaps I would be less creative if I were straight. I'm fairly certain I would be less compassionate if I were straight. Some days I even believe I'd be happier if I were straight. Yet I also know I would have less psychological strength and less moral fiber if I were straight. Being gay and knowing it at an early age teaches you, or forces you into, a certain strength of character.

No being gay is not merely a sexual identity. It is a multitude of wonderful characteristics and attributes all wrapped up in a myriad of different shells. We're not all flamboyant. We're not all artistic. We're not all neat freaks. No one image can describe us. Yet we are all wonderful individuals who make great friends, sons, daughters, brothers, sisters, mothers or fathers, and lovers.

The LGBT community is just as diverse as the straight community and the one thing we all have in common is we're only human trying to do the best that we can in the time we're allotted on this planet.